Ok I have been single for awhile – back and forth between what I want, and what is good for me. I have attempted to be more open minded, not take on the challenge and just embrace a compliment when it is handed to you, not questioning everyone’s intentions.
Cynicism aside I recently volunteered at an event that was benefitting a cause near and dear to my heart, something I am truly passionate about. I was (for once) not on the prowl that night, that aside there was a handsome fellow I greeted at the door and secretly hoped we would connect at some point during the night. As the dinner was winding down I could see him hovering, and just before he left I gave a wave, he came over. With a pick up line of “How bad do I need to injure myself to see you again?”; what girl would not be wooed? (I am nurse hence the pick up line). We exchanged numbers and he asked to take me out, after some power texting, and lots of butterflies – I was sold. I was told everything a girl wanted to hear – he was pretty forward and open with what he wanted and assured me he was not looking to mess around.
We went for brunch at one of the city’s top spots, great conversation, good chemistry, I was into it. He walked me to my car, and kissed me in the rain. Is this a movie? I was interested and it takes me a bit to be totally sold, when someone is wooing over me – usually I run (I like the chase, so if its too easy, I typically sabotage). We made plans for that Sunday checking out the local wineries, I was more than pumped to say the least.
Saturday afternoon I get a text waking up between my second and third night shift, to be informed our plans for Sunday needed to be delayed – yeah I was annoyed rightly so, but attempted (I use this loosely) to play it cool. He gave me 4 other nights to pick from, and proceeded to call me to talk it out. My instinct was not sending me the best vibes, but after having several therapy sessions with my girls via text and phone call – they convinced me to give him the benefit of the doubt – so I did, Monday night dinner, that was the plan.
Note to self always go with your gut, I was taught this at a young age and it was further instilled in me all throughout nursing school (should have known better).
Monday rolls around, I was given two options for dinner after I had offered to head out his way, because I figured he worked all day the last thing you want to do is commute. Option 1 was dinner and then a movie (one I was not into seeing, plus not the best way to get to know someone) or Option 2 order take out and watch a movie at his place – I am all about take out, that being said it sounded kind of like a fancy “Netflix & Chill” date. Initially I agreed to Option 2 – but when “wear your comfy clothes” was stated I had an odd feeling so I suggested just dinner out, no movie, we’ll see how it goes. Done – that was the plan.
I get ready to go for dinner, my usual is active gear or scrubs, so to wash my hair is a big deal. I drive in rush hour out his way. Only to find street parking “if I am really stuck” he said he would let me into his underground, my blood starting to boil. I walk up, he greets me with a kiss outside his place, on the sidewalk while 5 other people were around – PDA is not my jam (awkward). We get upstairs, great view, clean place. Ok Britt you can do this, just relax.
The wine – he opens the wine and pulls the cork out managing to spill all over his blue button up shirt – sure embarrassing, but the reaction was almost scary when he literally threw the wine opener, and stormed off to deal with the massive red wine stain.
(Red flag number one)
Before I know it my one glass max is done, and I am hungry. Conversation is going, a little more comfortable than a second date convo should be, but I am rolling with it. The offers to top up my wine were as persistent as a dog with a bone – how fitting. I politely declined.
Take out is the option – a few ideas were suggested, pizza being one of them. I mean I love pizza, who doesn’t? I figured that there was a funky place near by we could order from (I am still kind of annoyed though because I was told we were going out). The next thing I know he is googling the most basic delivery pizza (I know the number off the top of my head from overplayed TV commercials). Not to speak poorly of delivery pizza, it was my go to for every sleepover as a teenager, and a saviour late at night after the bar – but was not what I had in mind for a second date. Further he asks and proceeds to order the special *triple eye roll*. Now I am thinking how did I get buttered up and told I would be wined and dined to eat mediocre pizza – where the dipping sauces cost extra.
From here things just went sideways and it was apparent there was one agenda here, and regardless of how independent, different, and sexy I was – he really just wanted to dive into “my pizza”.
My mind raced, and some inappropriate comments were thrown my way. My hunch was confirmed when I was invited to drink wine in bed – no thanks that’s for the kitchen table. Thanks for the offer to stay at your place, but I forgot my pjs and toothbrush. *triple eye roll*
At one point I had to take a moment – pull myself together in the bathroom almost in tears, feeling like a fool, and I should have known better. Or maybe I am just too high strung, or a prude, maybe I thought I was ready to date when in fact I am not. Key here is I knew if I stayed I was not respecting myself and he was not respecting me, sleepovers on second dates just don’t roll with my moral compass these days (but no judgment we have all been there – myself included). I grabbed my things and asked him to walk me to my car since I parked 3 blocks away after not being offered a spot in the underground – that was a big deal. *another triple eye roll*
The drive home my mind was flip flopping. Was that my fault? Was I too uptight? Maybe I was, but also my gut was telling me something was off. I think am worth more than a large “special of the night” pizza – (heck maybe if I offered to take my shirt off the dipping sauce wouldn’t have been extra – that was a bad joke). Sadly I think this has worked more than once for this fella, and my stubborn ways I would not give in – sure I thought about it, but I am happy with my decision. A long conversation once I got home with a close guy friend, gave me some much needed male insight and affirmed I had made the right choice that night.
I still have not heard from him, which I am quite content about. Further assures me he was after one thing that night (insert eggplant emoji), the one thing he promised me he was not, because he told me “I was so different”. I am trying not to sound jaded, just more aware, and less naive.
Moral of the story
A) go with your gut.
B) girls & (guys for that matter) you are worth more – especially more that a crummy pizza – make sure you respect yourselves!
C) I need to focus a little more on the things I love and not so much on looking to find love, my life is pretty great and I should be embracing that
So here I am – never thought I would be a “blogger” but that was my grand inspo, among others – I have several more you might pee your pants or simply go WTF date stories, and I hope some of you ladies & gents can relate, and some of you take some pointers of what NOT to do on a second date.
Rant over #thisiswhyiamsingle